i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
