she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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