10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
