We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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