Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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