i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I did not marry a roomba.
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