it hurts more in the daytime
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
