And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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