He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
