How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
