Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
