Who did Billy Mays play for?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
