You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
