I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my poor anus
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
