I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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