Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
