I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
