Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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