FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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