carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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