Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
