its not stalking. its research.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
