He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
