ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
All the doctor said was why
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
