Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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