Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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