road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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