"it" just moved
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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