Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
