beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am one with the molecules
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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