last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have post one night stand depression
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
