Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm having to shit out rocks
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