oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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