I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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