So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
