its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize