Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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