I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
