No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
