Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
