Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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