are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
