if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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