He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
