Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
