He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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