we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
