I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
