I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
