Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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