yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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