My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
