I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
