think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
