matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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