i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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